Heeeeey Fam-a-Lamb 🤎

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Real Talk, it might be time for a Hopeful Ho remix.

I’ve been feeling a little funky lately.

Not because life is bad. Shhiiiit quite the opposite, actually.
 

I just hit six months of sobriety !!! 🖤 Owwww 😱
 

I’ve been building new connections, having serendipitous moments that feel like Higher Power nudging me to be exactly where I need to be.

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But if I’m being honest, the music has felt a little stagnant.
The collectives feel a little stunted.
And I’ve been feeling a bit ... burned out.

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So I’ve been pulling back from the hyper-productivity that marked the spring of my recovery and trying to move a little more with the flow 🌊
 

That got me thinking about success.

Because if i’m being real, it can be discouraging to be a working-class artist and pour thousands of dollars into your craft.

 

I looked at my Cash App recently and realized I’ve paid one engineer alone nearly $5,000 over the years.

And he’s just one.

Meanwhile, I’ve made less than $300 in streaming revenue.

The math doesn’t math.

And for a hot ass minute, I felt discouraged.
 

I started thinking about the hopes and dreams I had earlier in my active addiction — that one day I would “make it.”

Not in a Beyoncé-at-Coachella kind of way.

More like… a movement version of that.
 

And then I had to ask myself:

What does success even mean?

Who gets to define it?

Because capitalism has us tripping.
 

These algorithms are not designed to uplift the kind of work I make.

In fact, they’re often designed to suppress it.

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A few months ago, I helped launch a social media account for an

incredibly inspiring elder.

The account reached hundreds of thousands of people.

IG shut it down in a matter of days.

Repression is real.

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I recently saw a headline suggesting that supporting Trans people is now being treated as a form of radical extremism.

Repression is real.

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The times are backwards.

What is right is made to look wrong.
What is natural is called twisted.
What is harmful is normalized.

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So I know I cannot judge my success based on a system that was never set up for us to win.

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As Audre Lorde reminded us, "we were never meant to survive".

And yet… here we are.

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Every time my music is played, me being a Blaqueer, Feminist, Trans non-binary artist in the belly of the beast, 250 years into empire, that is an act of resistance.

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A note for nature.
A note for love.
A note for power.
A reminder that we are infinitely connected.

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And then I had another thought...🤔

For most of human history, people lived in small communities.

Most of us likely never knew more than 150 people.

So if your songs touched 150 people deeply, you were already doing something

pro-fkn-found!

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My music has definitely reached more than 150 people. 😮‍💨

People from all over the planet.

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Someone in Japan choreographed one of my songs.

A Flow Club Homie in Australia told me they had never felt more seen by music until hearing mine.

And countless people have told me my work helped them feel less alone.

 

Sooo jokes on everybody (lol me too)!

I’ve already won.

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And I’m going to keep creating as if capitalism is not the final authority!

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As if abundance is the law of the land.

As if purpose matters more than metrics.

As if touching people deeply is enough.

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Because maybe success was never about going viral.

Maybe it was always about living in alignment.

Maybe it was always about telling the truth.

Maybe it was always about helping people remember who they are.

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We were never meant to survive.

So every single day that I wake up and reclaim my sobriety,
my health,
my art,
my power—

that is a win.

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Are you ready to win with me?

With Love & Liberation,
amani 🤎