Morning Pages Free Write & Affirmations 12.26.15

Our deepest fear ...

what are your influences What is your light where is your dark what is the source of your inspiration where does your syrupy glitter flow from come from how did this moment come to be? All I've ever known is existence Why would I believe there's anything but that. Where is hell in the universe? Between which constellation does purgatory lie? Does god live where the airplanes go. Do I live where the airplanes go ? Can I build a house from the clouds, from the skies

in the heavens? Is the earth's crust is the molten is the lava the enteral brimstone home, You hate me

Think me blasphemous I am. Because you are Jesus and you've elected to take the easy way out which in my opinion is far more difficult than dying at 33 for what you believe in. Living a life in honesty in purity in peace

To live a life in peace sounds ideal I used to fq around in my child mind And think ooooh bad things about Jesus Then gasp "can he hear me?" When there are mites all over my body? creatures on my fleas Persons in my water The complex balance I find it harder and harder to conceptualize me.

One me I am a host Just as the thinnest strands of silk spin from a spider 100 times thinner than a human hair. There's bacteria on that viruses on them persons endlessly small. Our masterful eyes can't even begin to register they don't clock in. Good morning.

I'm not afraid I saw a mouse trap yesterday and I only jumped a little in my mind I am smorgishboard at night for tiny critters who litter their remains in my mouth ear and eyes and I'm fine with it We depend upon each other without y'all I'd have no one to keep me in balance constantly fighting the tensions

I think he's hooked

I'm getting complacent and can use a break soon I want space

I'm not interested without space

The tension I smell of a stale shower and expired tomorrow's We nasty a little.

Be like the birds they say Don't worry don't worry don't sorry "Well Jesus is the bosses son he's got nothing to worry about" But how? How people And how can humans be thee thing You too are the bosses son So many know that I and the father are one Yup me too And me and me too But why not think of yourself as so grand That you're an insignificant speck of a critter You're not godd You're just a child You're just a little woman You're just a migrant worker A transit worker you have no say about the goings ons and life pushes you around If only ... You should have been more important Born to a different family Healthy Less Poor you Shit you did it

and did it

all

before The realization that your power is endless that you can create civilizations and cocoons That you can fly and dance across skies in a range of colors and breathtaking moments Lacking desire I desire to keep this journey going it's so fun but also if it ends here that's okay It makes no difference it makes no difference it makes no difference do as you love in the moment I promise Buy freedom with time I Amani use my creativity to build a successful life

I Amani use my creativity to ....

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© 2019 by Amani O+

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Last updated May '20.

New York State,

Lenape to Mahican territory

and beyond.